This Is What Keeps Me Going!

I'm thankful to be a part of the nursing home ministry. Being there for them certainly helps keep me going. It's been 10 years of visits, song services, teaching Sunday school and Bible studies. I've seen so many pass on, and that part is certainly never easy... but you learn to stay strong for the ones still here. The long times I couldn't go during COVID were difficult, and I felt unsure of myself or what to do. I know so many who don't have families who visit, so I take very seriously my time visiting with them. This year I'm getting to add in rotation teaching for their afternoon midweek Bible study, while continuing to rotate teaching Sunday school on Sunday afternoons. Due to my travels, it had been a month since I last visited with them. I made up for it by teaching Sunday School 2 weeks in a row and mid week Bible study. They were so excited to get their little Disney character gift from me. They've been showing me where they put them. I have some in my car to remember. After study time, prayer, and singing we sit around and just talk, laugh and cut up. It makes my heart glad, just as I know it does the same for their hearts. The workers always say how much the residents love me, but I love them even more! Sometimes I want to just bring them all home with me if I could?! It doesn't matter how down I may be feeling, when I leave from my visits with them, I always leave with a different perspective. I've been with my group at the Gardens of Clanton for 8 months now, and I couldn't imagine not being a part of their week. When you know something is your calling and purpose, you stick with it, thank God for the joy it brings you that, in turn, brings them joy, and you lay everything else (that may not be going right), at the feet of Jesus! When the ugliness and hurtfulness of life may try to cloud my mind... THIS ⬇️ is what keeps me going!❣️🥰

Go Tell Someone About Jesus!

I had a vision from the Lord that made me cry out. (Sharing from a Facebook friend. This spoke deeply to my heart and soul.)

Vision: I came in a church that had pews on each side with an aisle down the middle. As I walked down the aisle toward the platform, I looked at the people sitting on the pews. Everyone was frozen in time, seemingly stuck in place. I noticed every person sitting on the pew was huge (extremely obese). One man I saw on the second pew had his gut stuck out of his shirt and he had a big white beard. I noticed baskets full of bread sitting on all of the pews. I saw baskets of bread stuffed under the pews. Each member on the pew was obese and had crumbs all over them. The big man on the second pew had crumbs in his beard.

I made my way up on stage where I saw the preacher. I didn't recognize him. He was young with jet black hair. He was wearing a very nice suit with no wrinkles in it. He was standing on the bottom ledge of the pulpit, and while he leaned forward his hand was outstretched toward the members on the pew. He had a long loaf of bread in his hand. His face was so sincere. 

As I looked upon this preacher, the lights in the church grew dim until I could barely see him or anyone else around in the church. A light came through a window, on the wall, in the middle of the church. I made my way to the window. As I looked out the window, my heart sank in to my stomach and I began to weep. Everywhere around the outside of the church building were men, women, and children standing but they were skin and bones. I remember one woman screaming, while holding her dying son in her arm, while reaching toward the church with her other hand. Her son's stomach was bloated. God spoke to me and told me that the Gospel needs to go beyond the four walls. While many people become fat on the Word, no one is feeding those outside. Conviction filled my heart and soul. In this vision, I saw this and it was as if I were there.

The harvest is white but where are those who will labor? Are we looking forward to the next Wednesday at church or the next Sunday service but neglecting to reach those starving around us? I am all for going to church, and we are told to do so. However, we need to be reaching this lost and dying world that is starving for salvation. Go tell someone about Jesus!

New Year's Revival!

6 and 1/2 months ago (the end of June 2022), God spoke to my heart about getting to North Carolina for campmeeting and coming by myself. That's the first trip I've ever went on in my life, by myself, at 38 years old. But I knew and trusted God would take care of me. There was such a peace in my heart that could only come from Him. That week I learned alot about myself and that a new season/chapter was coming in my life. That week would help me to keep pushing forward when I had no idea of the hurt that was coming my way several months later. That week formed new and lasting friendships. That week sisters would take time to pour into me words of wisdom and prophecy, pray and cry with me, and then laugh for hours as the joy of the Lord poured over us. That week I left a part of my heart in North Carolina. Fast forward to less than a year later and 3 days before their New Year's Revival 2023 begins, God allows everything to fall into place and gets me back to North Carolina to be in services with them again this week! I'm not taking it for granted! It was so good to walk in those doors and be so warmly greeted and welcomed with many neck hugs and smiles on Sunday morning! It felt like I was home! One sister said, "it's always good to see your smiling face!". I felt the same way about seeing their smiling faces. One brother said, "this is your church now, whether you're in Alabama or not". I feel the same way. There was a supernatural healing anointing flowing that morning! The Holy Ghost was among us! ❤️🙌 My heart and my mind was truly healed by Sunday afternoon (testimony to come in a separate post)! I'll never forget finding a video of Dallas Church of God on YouTube probably 7 or 8 years ago and knew immediately I felt a connection, and this church had something really special. It's such a positive and uplifting atmosphere for me. It's church services like I grew up in. As I started following and watching their services on facebook, I've called them my "facebook church" for years. Now, it's more than that, it's home to me when I'm here! I pray and intercede for them! I'm poured into when I am here! They are ministering to people all over the world through social media! They fight the good fight of faith too! They need prayer! No church or person is immune to the attacks of satan! I know that I can never stay down for the count! I have to keep pressing on! I have to keep fighting the fight of faith!

Saying NO to the Demands!

Don't ever have someone to demand you to apologize when there is no reason for it. If you truly have a reason to apologize than that is different. Or when you humble yourself before the Lord, and apologize and the situation truly changes than that's different. But if you find yourself constantly apologizing and that situation or person is only worsening... it's time to pray about being removed from the equation. That's how it was for me, more than once in my life. However, people get really good at playing the victim and not admitting their mistakes nor choosing to change for the better. I chose to now be an open book. I'm aware of my flaws and shortcomings. I'm not afraid to discuss them with anyone either. It's a part of my testimony. I've apologized to save face before. I've did it at the demands of people in authority and leadership (i.e pastors). I've did that for these reasons: being a people pleaser and truly not knowing how to stand up for myself. It only left me burned and living with no peace in my life. But I also had a previous pastor, who made a huge impact on my life, when he told me he knew I had discernment and was strong in the Lord, and that if I knew in my heart I didn't do anything to offend this person then there was no reason I had to apologize to nor meet with this person at their demands. He knew it was someone with toxic traits. He knew they needed to work out their problems, without me in the equation. He wasn't worried about me being a people pleaser or that it was going to hurt the spirit/unity of the church. It was an example of scripture: "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling".

At some point in your life, you get past that and truly learn to live for yourself and no one else. 2022 was that turning point for me. You have a right to decide who stays and who goes... when it comes to friendships... when it comes to where you go.... when it comes to who you hang out with. You learn when the conversation is worth having or not having... lots of times it's merely a trap from the enemy. I've leaned the hard way not to fall in those "enemy traps" anymore. The only regrets that I seriously do have in life, are the times I've ignored the red flags when they were waving so clearly in front of my face. But then again, if I would've ignored them I would've missed out on valuable lessons and growth in myself and with the Lord. When I ignored those red flags, it was done at the expense of thinking that I had to hold on to toxic relationships or friendships because people were, point blank, DEMANDING me to. But it was never about me, it was so they could have peace and harmony and things how they wanted them. Meanwhile, I was broken and dying inside, hiding behind a mask with no peace whatsoever. I was bitter too. I was stuck in a toxic relationship. My heart now goes out to and understands those trapped in similar situations. That's happened more than once in my life. 

2022 set me up to realize that, as long as I'm breathing, that won't happen again. I have no desire to ignore the red flags ever again. I refuse to back down for something I choose to post on social media. It's my page. It belongs to me. I even regret those times I've removed a post to make someone else happy. The years of being a people please are far behind me. God gave me strong discernment for a reason, and it came through many a trial and hurt over the years. I can't take that discernment for granted. I can't lock it away and hide it nor not use it. I refuse to stop praying for stronger discernment, because that's what keeps me and those I'm closest to protected. I can't make others see what God's shown me then, now, and what's coming down the line. I don't have the power to stop hurt coming for others whom I love and care for dearly, that I can see a mile away. But, I can sure praise God for showing me and removing me from an equation that was never going to add up to anything but toxicity in my life. You will learn how to stop trying to put yourself back into a situation, relationship, friendship, or place that God already cemented the door shut to. You will learn how to say, "no" and mean it. You wil learn to quit letting a person(s) "cry wolf" to you. You will learn sooner or later that the smaller your circle gets the clearer your vision gets. You will learn that man can mess up a word/direction God's given to you and put you, because He gives man free will. You will learn that what you interpret a word to be, that God so clearly gives to you, He meant it to be something totally diffenent (in a different way). That's what this saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost woman of God has learned. So, 2023, I'm continuing to live for me, with God guiding my hand/steps! ❤️🙌

They have bit once. They will bite again. 

The Last Month of 2022!

I had a very busy, but memorable, first three weeks of December 2022. I went from a weekend trip to Mentone, Alabama with my parents and cousins... back home to pack and travel to Georgia with my family there... to Florida for a Disney World trip for a week... traveled back to Georgia to finish celebrating Christmas with my family and friends there... then rested up to drive back home to Alabama a few days after Christmas. I'm spent New Year's at home, in my bed, catching up on some rest, while still trying to figure out what day it is hahaaa?! I've lost track of that over the past few weeks. I am thankful for my family by my side, for the memories we've made, and for the Lord giving me good health to enjoy all of this. Though I have had some in office procedures this year and some sickness, 2022 is the first full year, in 10 years, that I haven't been put to sleep for a surgery. That is a miracle, and the best Christmas gift I have received! For all that went wrong in 2022, or what I thought went wrong, God turned it around and made it all alright. He's slowly healed my heart from unplanned hurt and disappointments. We don't plan that anyway, but that's life. You learn to focus on the good and keep pushing forward. I gained a lot of peace in my life, and I'm grateful for that. Once more, God's proved to me how He always knows what's best! He's shown me so much favor over the last several months of 2022, when I thought things couldn't get any better?! He's stayed with me through it all, in the middle of my anger and frustrations, and so has my family and my closest friends who never leave my corner! When God's got your back; nothing else matters! So let's take a whack at 2023! As always I trust God to bring me through, until He calls me home. ♡

Here is to 2023!

I'm bringing in the New Year thankful for my faith, my family, my friends, my health, my adventures, and my memories! Here's to 2023! It's not how 2022 started for me, it's how it ended for me! On a high note! Full of peace and hope! I became a stronger and more independent person, as I approach the last year of 30s. I pushed through much challenge and adversity. I traveled by myself *on a week long trip for the 1st time in my life*. I very much enjoyed it. I had peace to go and trusted God would take care of me. I weeded out and removed toxicity in my life. I battled my way through depression once more that had a grip on me for months. God's loved me through it all the last half of 2022, even when I got silent with Him! He never abandoned me in the midst of the hurt, anger, and frustrations! I hope for another year without a surgery! I'm still beyond thankful to go a whole year, for the 1st time in 10 years, without being put to sleep for a surgery! I can't praise God enough for that miracle!! 2022 truly taught me how to stand up for myself, while keeping quiet and letting the Lord fight my battles, knowing that I am finally at that stage in my life understanding that I have a right to say who stays or goes when it comes to friendships or who I associate with. I'm not afraid to be raw, real, and honest... even if it hurts. That's where the true peace comes from! I welcome 2023 with hope that God continues to protect His chosen, peace that He will, and as always, I watch for His return! ♡

               Welcome the year of 2023!! 

What a Way to End 2022!

Christmas at Disney World - 2022. It was magical. It was my Disney "do over" trip. It was a family vacation. It was as near perfect as you can get, because we plowed right through those small hiccups. And perfect is not reality, while still living on earth. But God made it as close to perfect as possible for us. All the reservations worked out for us. We were shown favor throughout the trip. We got there and back safely. There's no tired like Disney tired, but it's worth every sore muscle or blister or bruise... seriously. We all experienced things there for the first time, in different ways. It was my fifth visit. Those dinners or rides may not last, but we will have the photos and memories that will always last. I'm beyond thankful God made a way for me to go back for a 2nd time in one year, and to also take my 1st cousin's family with me! Thank God for making this trip happen for me!! He paved the way! Christmas at Mickey Mouse's house was a blast, and a fabulous way to end 2°○°22! Merry belated Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year to you!