Saying NO to the Demands!

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Don't ever have someone to demand you to apologize when there is no reason for it. If you truly have a reason to apologize than that is different. Or when you humble yourself before the Lord, and apologize and the situation truly changes than that's different. But if you find yourself constantly apologizing and that situation or person is only worsening... it's time to pray about being removed from the equation. That's how it was for me, more than once in my life. However, people get really good at playing the victim and not admitting their mistakes nor choosing to change for the better. I chose to now be an open book. I'm aware of my flaws and shortcomings. I'm not afraid to discuss them with anyone either. It's a part of my testimony. I've apologized to save face before. I've did it at the demands of people in authority and leadership (i.e pastors). I've did that for these reasons: being a people pleaser and truly not knowing how to stand up for myself. It only left me burned and living with no peace in my life. But I also had a previous pastor, who made a huge impact on my life, when he told me he knew I had discernment and was strong in the Lord, and that if I knew in my heart I didn't do anything to offend this person then there was no reason I had to apologize to nor meet with this person at their demands. He knew it was someone with toxic traits. He knew they needed to work out their problems, without me in the equation. He wasn't worried about me being a people pleaser or that it was going to hurt the spirit/unity of the church. It was an example of scripture: "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling".

At some point in your life, you get past that and truly learn to live for yourself and no one else. 2022 was that turning point for me. You have a right to decide who stays and who goes... when it comes to friendships... when it comes to where you go.... when it comes to who you hang out with. You learn when the conversation is worth having or not having... lots of times it's merely a trap from the enemy. I've leaned the hard way not to fall in those "enemy traps" anymore. The only regrets that I seriously do have in life, are the times I've ignored the red flags when they were waving so clearly in front of my face. But then again, if I would've ignored them I would've missed out on valuable lessons and growth in myself and with the Lord. When I ignored those red flags, it was done at the expense of thinking that I had to hold on to toxic relationships or friendships because people were, point blank, DEMANDING me to. But it was never about me, it was so they could have peace and harmony and things how they wanted them. Meanwhile, I was broken and dying inside, hiding behind a mask with no peace whatsoever. I was bitter too. I was stuck in a toxic relationship. My heart now goes out to and understands those trapped in similar situations. That's happened more than once in my life. 

2022 set me up to realize that, as long as I'm breathing, that won't happen again. I have no desire to ignore the red flags ever again. I refuse to back down for something I choose to post on social media. It's my page. It belongs to me. I even regret those times I've removed a post to make someone else happy. The years of being a people please are far behind me. God gave me strong discernment for a reason, and it came through many a trial and hurt over the years. I can't take that discernment for granted. I can't lock it away and hide it nor not use it. I refuse to stop praying for stronger discernment, because that's what keeps me and those I'm closest to protected. I can't make others see what God's shown me then, now, and what's coming down the line. I don't have the power to stop hurt coming for others whom I love and care for dearly, that I can see a mile away. But, I can sure praise God for showing me and removing me from an equation that was never going to add up to anything but toxicity in my life. You will learn how to stop trying to put yourself back into a situation, relationship, friendship, or place that God already cemented the door shut to. You will learn how to say, "no" and mean it. You wil learn to quit letting a person(s) "cry wolf" to you. You will learn sooner or later that the smaller your circle gets the clearer your vision gets. You will learn that man can mess up a word/direction God's given to you and put you, because He gives man free will. You will learn that what you interpret a word to be, that God so clearly gives to you, He meant it to be something totally diffenent (in a different way). That's what this saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost woman of God has learned. So, 2023, I'm continuing to live for me, with God guiding my hand/steps! ❤️🙌
They have bit once. They will bite again. 

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