From A Victim Mentality To A Victor!

I know how certain childhood and adult life events can stick with you for the rest of your life, no matter how much therapy and self-work you might undertake. There are some experiences you never forget and that trigger a flood of emotions in the most unexpected scenarios. For some people, wrestling with these emotional demons is a daily battle. I am not trying to undermine this real and true pain. I have had to come face to face with these demons and allow God to get me past it. I have had to allow Him to rid me of the victim mentality. I have learned to forgive and let go. I have learned to accept responsibility when I mess up. I do believe, however, that as adults we must reach a point of reconciliation with our stories. Eventually we come to a fork in the road when we are faced with a choice. Is our story just a story — or is it who we are? Does it define us? 

If we continue to allow our childhood pain, or any pain for that matter, to define us and serve as the reason for living a compromised life, then we will forever be stuck in a victim mentality. Victim mentality is a learned personality trait in which a person feels powerless and unable to cope or take action in difficult situations. This person tends to see him/herself as a victim of the negative actions of others and continues to feel this way even after the negative situation or actions are no longer real or relevant. It becomes a coping mechanism to survive fear, pain, and to reclaim our basic psychological needs of safety, love, affection, belonging, and self-esteem.

Unfortunately, a victim mentality is not a very attractive or empowering mindset, and the enemy will use this to push everyone away who tries to help you overcome it, because the enemy doesn't want you to be delivered from it or set free. Praise God, I have been delivered from it and God is no respecter of persons. The Lord has put it on my heart to sincerely pray for those bound up by this. If you know someone who has these behaviors have compassion to pray for them to want to be delivered from this stronghold.

 

Here are some of the behaviors of a person with a victim mentality: tends to blame others and refuses to take responsibility for themselves or their actions, assumes others have negative intentions or “have it out for them”, views other people as happier, luckier, or better and has a “poor me” attitude, tries to elicit sympathy or pity from others by feeling sorry for themselves or telling (sometimes exaggerated) stories, acts helpless and isolated in order to avoid discomfort or responsibility, tends to have a negative outlook and sees “the glass half full” even when their lives are good, can be defensive and self-absorbed, often focuses on the past and blames past events for current circumstances, focuses heavily on problems and will complain about them with others, tends to reject constructive criticism, exhibits low self-esteem and self-confidence.

Even though one with a victim mentality might feel some short term pleasure from getting sympathy, avoiding difficulties, discomfort, or reliving past events, that’s pretty much all they get (short term benefits from it). Over time, people with a victim mentality become off-putting to others around them. Their blaming, retelling of stories, and negativity gets old, and the people closest to them begin to feel manipulated and uncomfortable. As adults, regardless of the pain we have experienced in the past, it is certainly our responsibility to our loved ones, and more importantly to ourselves, to initiate healing, self-awareness, and positive change. The only way that I got past it was to realize that I had the problem of being a victim instead of a victor. I had to pray and put it under the blood of Jesus and leave it there! That's where my victory comes from! My source of hope and freedom! I just needed Jesus!

Don't Let the Incurable Disease Define You!

I have been living with Meniere's Disease for 16 years (in my right ear). Most people don't know, but I'm deaf in my right ear from the inner ear disease and it affects my balance when it's "out of whack". I've been having to have an ear shunt (works the same way as a brain shunt, since my ear doesn't drain fluid properly due to the disease) replaced every 4 years for the last 12 years. It will be four years in March since my last shunt revision. I've gone the last three weeks in a row for ear treatments where they run antibiotic & steroid medicine down in my ear, and I lie still afterwards for 30 minutes. I have taken the meds by mouth. I haven't seen enough progress yet and things aren't working right. It's a nasty and incurable disease, and you never know when it's going to flare up or cause problems. When the attacks happen, I'm in bed for days with horrible exhaustion and brain fog... so when I can get out I do go, and I don't take it for granted. I look back on everything God allowed me to do + what He did for me in 2022 (8 trips + removing toxicity from my life and giving me much peace), how He kept me from surgery all year, and even what He allowed me to experience in January this year, and for that I am very grateful. But, sometimes you're back in the "be still and know He is God" season. I haven't been able to drive for 3 weeks and won't until this all settles down again. I've seen four different doctors since I was diagnosed 16 years ago. I didn't want to accept it. They all said the same thing. I've stared at that ear chart in the rooms at every doctor's appt, realizing just how much the ear/balance can take (not just a physical toll), but a mental and emotional toll on you when it's all not working properly. I realize it could be something worse, but it still doesn't make it easy at times. The doctor doesn't know why my body rejects the shunt every four years when I should be getting way more years than that (i.e. I should just now be thinking about my 2nd shunt revision instead of my possible 4th surgery). These last couple of days have been so rough. The next step is back to the operating room, and since I've had other surgeries on my ear besides the shunt... it would be my 11th surgery on my ear... at this point it's just about continuing to preserve my balance... as I continue praying for healing and a miracle from this! If I continue to have worsening symptoms through the weekend, I will see the doctor next week vs. two weeks out. So, just please pray with me for this vertigo to settle down and that I get some much needed relief, as it's been constant. I praise God for the strength He continues to give me to fight through it, and for the ability to have access to medical treatments and a good doctor. After 13 years of treatments by the same doctor, we just keep going and pressing forward. My mama is my right hand, and I praise God for her and my daddy!! They hang in there with me, and so does my brother and best friends! They are all my drivers when I need them! I praise God for support! If you've read this and live with this rare disease (1 out of 2,000 people have it) or any incurable disease know that you aren't alone. I understand and feel for you. Do your best not to let it define your life. You are so much more than the disease tries to make you (me) to be. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

Your Comfort Source!

John 14:26, "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, that I have said to you." ♡

Thank God for those times the Holy Spirit has come to lift me up, strengthen and comfort me. Thank God for those times when He has touched a friend and spoken through them as a human instrument to lift me up, strengthen, and comfort me. Thank God for those times when He has used me as a tool to lift others up, strengthen, and comfort them. While praying for the Holy Spirit to bring comfort to those, who are facing giants of doubt during tough trials right now, the words of this song came to me: "I love You more, more than I did before... cause when I needed You... You were there to pull me through, I love You still... though I don't understand Your will, Because You've been so faithful to me, Lord, I love You more!"

No matter what the medical report says, no matter what your finances look like, no matter how bad that relationship may seem, be confident that you will see God's goodness and fe His comfort through the presence of His Holy Spirit! He is the all-powerful, omniscient, Creator of the Universe, and He holds you in the palm of His hand. Nothing is too difficult for Him. Take hold of this truth by faith and focus on His goodness!

It Matters What Christians Share!

I feel such a tugging in my heart to be obedient to God on this matter. I may be out on a limb by myself on this subject, but if I am... I am out there on the limb with me and God. I know it's needed to share maybe warnings about books and TV shows or videos etc, if you know someone is a Christian or raising children in a Christian home, as to hopefully prevent them from being exposed to something they don't need to be (i.e. Christians should hold each other accountable, just like family and friends should). The last 2 days my Facebook news feed has been full of all the pictures and videos surrounding the Grammys via sharing posts. I haven't watched the Grammys nor have I watched award shows in years because of the decline they have taken with sick and twisted worldliness, however my mind has now been exposed to pictures and things maybe I didn't want or need to see because that's how things work in the internet and social media world, and then it maybe exposes children who see it on their parents phone etc. It's not a question of if we will continue to be exposed to worldly influences, because the answer is also a resounding "yes we will" to that, until the Lord returns for those who are watching and ready. The true question is what will you do, as a professing Christian, to continue guarding your heart and soul from the exposure? I will answer this question for myself, in that it does indeed matter what I share. I do have a responsibility, as a Christian, to hold myself accountable.

I was praying heavily over this, but it's nothing new for CBS or the Grammys. They didn't just start pushing their motives and agendas on the public this year. I started praying about sharing a post and the Holy Spirit quickened my spirit. I heard the Lord speak so clearly to my heart, that the more this is shared and talked about the more the enemy is having his party in hell and field day. That's what those performers and CBS wanted, just like anyone else who shares their demonic agendas on national television. They wanted it to blow up, they wanted it to go viral, and now the more it's shared, the more the devil gets the glory he thinks that he deserves. They did this in hopes that those who didn't want to watch the Grammys would still be exposed to satan and his demonic forces; they are winning and gaining ground with every shared picture and post. For true Christians it might be easy to overlook and go on, but for those on the fence this might pull them in the wrong direction in regards to his/her soul being in a constant tug of war between satan and his demonic forces vs. God and His Holy Angels. To continue sharing those photographs and images, or listening to a video, would only infiltrate my mind with things I don't need to see when I close my eyes or just randomly think about something, so I've just did a lot of "hiding posts". In the last 48 hours satan has no telling how many times, had his agenda spewed all over the news, internet, and social media through these entertainers. I prayed some more, and God took me to 1 Corinthians 2:14 "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." KJV

The point made in this verse is crucial in our understanding of spirituality and how to interact with the non-believing world. In short, non-believers cannot be expected to think, or to act, like believers, nor should we expect different when non believers act in such a way as on the awards shows. The key difference is spiritual: those who are not guided by the Holy Spirit, thanks to faith in Christ, simply lack a godly spiritual perspective. The only way to believe the truths of God, including His plan for salvation through faith in Christ, is for God to communicate those truths through His Holy Spirit. Paul's work is to help people who have been given that spiritual ability to believe to understand what it means, but he knows that he canNOT make anyone believe it; it's the same for Christians today. Those without God's Spirit (unbelievers) cannot possibly "get it." God's truths must be understood and believed on a spiritual level. Those without God's Spirit don't have that level. Like a radio, television, or microphone tuned to the wrong signal, they are literally incapable of receiving that saving knowledge of Jesus and message of Christ. (The Grammys were tuned to the wrong signal, and those not living for Christ aren't going to accept anything other than what they believe right now and what they saw on tv, just like if a true Christian was watching it there should've been Holy Spirit convicting power to turn the channel immediately, otherwise you've opened your soul and mind to expose it to satan's forces. So many Christians have become desensitized to not only the Holy Spirit and the ways of the world and satan that it has become fuzzy and dangerous when separating the works for the two.) 

So the natural person rejects as foolish anything that comes from the Spirit of God. Those who have only their human senses and human reason will never be able to comprehend the spiritual truths of God's revelation about sin, salvation, and Christ to His people, because they are seeing it through fleshly and not spiritual sight. It's unreasonable to expect non-believers to process spiritual issues in the same way as believers. It's impossible to expect them to have the "mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16) when they don't even have the Spirit of God. 

I understood at this point, after much prayer and talking with God, that by me sharing things from people (i.e. worldly entertainers) who aren't living for Christ, isn't helping to bring Glory to God nor to witness for Him because the devil has them where he wants them, and they aren't budging. However, you still continue praying for their souls whether you know them or not. But if someone who professes to be saved (i.e. singers, preachers, teachers), are sharing or singing things that aren't of God then it's certainly my duty to share and warn of that, because that's someone's soul that could very well be on the line if they continue to follow something that isn't of God. (i.e. they know better). With that being said, satan knows his time is short and he's trying any means possible to get people's souls, and I have to guard my heart and mind to not be exposed anymore to his antics than I have to be. We shouldn't be surprised at any of this, because the Bible speaks of such things, and everything that has to happen to line up for the return of Christ. I know God's people win in the end and that's what I have to remember, that in the middle of a chaotic and frustrated mess of a country that no longer fears or blesses God, He will protect His chosen... but, we are surprised and taken aback when we ask God to bless America again, and He hasn't yet. He's coming back, and I realize it matters what I share! God forbid I was to die, I would hate for those to be the last images of people dressed like satan, shared on my Facebook page. I desire for it to be something that would bring Glory to God! 

❤️🙌 

In Christ, Kimmy