Robotic Rituals!

"Robotic Rituals" 

Today was Resurrection Day; a day of great celebration for Christian believers yet this year brought somber weather, a somber tone, and empty churches. By 7pm tonight, I continued to feel that very somber tone, yet I knew in my spirit it had nothing to do with this virus pandemic. It was something deeper than that. As I begin to pray about this, I could picture the situations that happened after Jesus walked out of that grave! It is definitely a great day of celebration, but I begin to think about how they accused His grave of being rob and His body being stolen. I was reminded of doubting Thomas and how He refused to believe it was actually Jesus, alive and resurrected, standing in the disciples midst until he could physically see the nail prints, and feel the hole in Jesus' side. I realize, through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I have felt the after effects of what Jesus felt; the grieving of the Holy Spirit. Christians celebrate the Risen Savior, but we never stop to think of the doubting that not only takes place of this event but follows it (at least until this year I haven't felt or thought about it to this extent). 

My time of quarantine has brought spiritual enlightenment to my life like never before. This Holy Week, I've felt and sensed things Jesus, Himself, felt. We don't feel the agony that was felt even after the grave, in that no matter what is said or done there will still be many who refuse to believe in Him and the finished work at the Cross and continually doubt, because they can't see with their physical eyes what's taking place. Even if it was just for one person to be saved, Jesus would have died. However, think of the sorrowful, unspeakable pain and agony in what Jesus went through on the way to the cross, on the cross, and after the cross (going to hell in our place and taking the keys to death, hell, and the grave). Today, I have felt the disappointment Jesus felt of the doubting and unbelief that would follow once He walked out of the grave. 

[John 20:25-29 = 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” 28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”]

I'm thankful for my spiritual reset and preparation that's taking place in my life. I shared of a dream, in a post yesterday, but I felt led to share it again. I had a vivid dream during this Holy Week, about this Easter season, about Jesus as He was dying on the cross. I couldn't see His face, oh but I could see that body dragging the biggest cross up a steep hill. I could feel the weight of the cross. I was telling this other man to stop, yelling for him to not drive those nails into the feet of Jesus. Yet, he said that He couldn't stop, because it was his job. When he started driving that nail, I literally felt it going through my skin and bones, screaming and crying to wake up. That was suppose to be me on the cross. From afar as the nailing continued, I could see Easter bunnies, egg hunts, the fancy matching outfits, church dramas, people auditioning for the lead part to sing at the church service, big productions, I could hear the well rehearsed Easter sermon being delivered and ringing loudly in my ear, I could see people looking at their watches sitting in church, I could read their mind as they were saying, when will this be over because I've got to get home to eat and take our yearly family pictures. Then I heard this so loudly before I woke up, "it's just become nothing more than a 'robotic' ritual". He longs for a spiritual reset to take place! He longs for superficial acting to stop! It appears to be a real relationship on the outside exterior, until examined more closely. He is calling us back into complete faith and unity with Him.

Time stood still in that dream for me, I was struggling to breath, I was crying, begging to wake up. Still I felt the pain of that nail, the grieving of the Son of God. Easter 2020 did not bring those "traditions of Easter", but nothing about that "traditions of Easter" dream was fun for me. I woke up ashamed, yet thanking God and crying out, "thank You God for not only continuing to spare my life, but for allowing Your only Son to take my place when it should've been my cross to die on, and for stopping the Easter traditions "the 'robotic' rituals" this year". 

See, it was just Jesus, me and my immediately family this Easter day [where 2 or 3 are gathered in His, He is there too]. I had a special devotion time with my parents, I loved on Jesus and He loved on me, I soaked in His holy presence, praised Him, sung to Him, and I wasn't hurried as I truly celebrated the Resurrection of Christ minus any of the robotic rituals that I usually go through. I had that intimate, precious time with Him that He longs for with each of His children. God is continuing to work on my church; (my church means "myself", not a building). You are the church God's looking to come back for without spot, wrinkle, or blemish. The church is each individual's walk with Christ. It goes back to that Sunday School song I grew up on, "He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be... how loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me".

In Christ,

Kimberly McDaniel (Kimmy)

Written on Easter Day 2020