When serving God, Obedience is Key!

It is my heart's desire to share with you what the Lord did in the evening service on January 21, 2018 at Clanton Church of God. How He graciously brought the healing, deliverance, and closure I desperately needed, while keeping me humble and in line with His Holy Spirit. I have been struggling with my purpose at church since going through an ongoing year battle of depression. I wasn't on the list to sing the solo, but the person who was couldn't due to being sick with the flu, so when I got the choir email about the special being open during the evening service, the Lord begin dealing with me about singing Jason Crabb's song "He won't leave you there", and sharing my testimony about being hospitalized for depression in 2017. I text our choir leader and she was happy that I was stepping up. The day before January 21st service, I was still struggling about wanting to go to my home church, I had been for 2 weeks. In fact, I had been wanting to visit another local Church of God church, but I was sick with severe bronchitis those 2 weeks. That Saturday, I was just a mess and didn't know what to do. I poured my heart out to someone I go to church with about how I felt, but in the end it made me feel better as if I could finally breathe again, and just like any other church situation, the enemy was only having me focus on situations I didn't like in that moment verses God is using me and I go to church for Him. So, that Saturday night I was up all night literally until about 5 am, and went to sleep and woke up about 9 am. But, yet I knew I needed to be at my home church. While the struggle was going on within myself, another church friend/sister in Christ facebook messages me at 3:20 am, unaware of my struggle, but God woke her up and she was being obedient and used specific wording I needed to read. So, when I told her that night at church I was thinking of leaving, she just got chill bumps and started crying, because it was confirmation that God was still using her, as she had too been struggling with finding her purpose. This was the message I received from that obedient sister in Christ:
"You're coming to church today aren't you? I hope so I miss you when you are not there. I love to hear you sing. And a whole lot more people do too. And, you Bless me the way you let God use you. I remember when you said God told you Clanton Church of God is your home church until He calls you home. We all love you Kimmy and miss you when you are not there."

Now, I haven't sung a special in a month and barely been there for services the past few months, yet she didn't know I was wanting to leave or that I was singing that Sunday night. I did make it to church that Sunday morning but struggled and still went through the motions. Mama and daddy rode off Sunday afternoon, so I had the house to myself and much needed one-on-one time with Jesus (yes I am a single, in my mid 30s, and still live with my parents), so I was ready for that night's service. By the last choir song, the Holy Spirit was moving on me and everything after that was a blur, or as us Pentecostals call it, "A calm, Holy Ghost fog". I gave my very transparent testimony and sung the song, the whole song with my eyes closed to be exact. I hit the last note and opened my eyes and start turning the mic off, and the altar is full of people praying for each other. By this point, the music leader is crying and gives me the signal to repeat the track and sing it again. Then, after I sing it again, I keep the mic and other singers come up and we just have an ole fashioned praise and worship service and sing one song after another. At the end of the service, our pastor says that he knew God was up to something when he left the house without his glasses (hence, he wasn't going to get to preach a message during that service, because he didn't have his glasses to see well enough to read). Even when service was over people, didn't know I was struggling to stay and they all just start coming up to me and telling me that I can't get go anywhere, that they love me, that God's using me, and if I left they would come to whatever church I was and lasso and hog tie me and bring me back, I am  I really did laugh out loud at that. But all the hurt that happened is in the past, and I felt it vanish and knew that I was able to keep moving forward in that moment. I had a good conversation with the pastor after church that night. And, he confirmed things I needed to hear. I always have to keep reminding myself that it is just a building, I am the church and it is my job to minister wherever I am: whether it be through this blog, social media, youtube videos, church, nursing home, someone else's home, public place, phone call, or being transparent during that service. Other people are struggling with depression or things privately, and our very obedience can help them and give them courage to get up and go to the altar and ask for prayer or call and open up and ask for help. Never think you have lost your purpose in life when your situation becomes non ideal for you, God won't leave you there!

He Won't Leave You There -https://youtu.be/eI9oW0E_WVE
https://youtu.be/HbQsHyqpzEA