Grief = losing my last grandparent in 2016!

Everyone grieves differently, and we all seem to hear the same phrases over and over when someone passes away. The one I have heard over and over, even while my MoMo was sick, and I was helping take care of her, and pretty much being her nurse, giving her the meds and shots she needed, was "you have to be strong for your momo, your mama, etc". Truth is, I was strong. I cried alone in the darkness of my own bedroom in the middle of the night, or in places where they weren't with me, such as church. The week she was passing, I gave her the meds she needed, without crying, and spoke to her assuring her everything was ok, while other family members sit in other rooms sobbing. During her viewing and at the funeral and afterwards, I was strong for my other family members barely crying. And, I am still told to stay strong for so and so... this gets said too much to grieving people. It places the burden of “bucking up” and pretending everything’s okay on a person precisely at the time when nothing is okay. As if a person (me) doesn’t feel enough pain, experience enough pressure, we are now telling them that their grieving loved ones are going to be worse off if they don’t “get themselves together” and pretend like everything is okay and normal. Let’s get this straight. What we’re really asking these people to do is lie. We’re asking them to pretend that they are in a reality of daisies and sunshine when all around them there are gravestones and darkness. And we’re asking them to lie for the sake of their loved ones, but who are we to assume we know anything about what their loved ones actually need? Maybe their loved ones need to see grief and vulnerability modeled. Maybe the last thing they need is someone else trying to pretend like things are okay when they so clearly are not. So, yes I have been strong and held up like a champ for others but let me tell you I am hurting too. I have so much bottled up that needs to come out. I miss my MoMo. I miss my granddaddy. I miss my Aunt Emmer. I miss my Grandma McDaniel. I miss other relatives who have passed away, that I am still grieving over. Sometimes what I need is a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, someone to pray with me, someone to tell me it is okay to just cry it out without feeling uncomfortable around me, someone to tell me it is ok to have your weak moments, because God is your strength. I am grieving. I cannot pretend that everything is ok. I cannot go back to the same routine overnight. Yes, it will get better with time but while it is getting better I need prayer and support, a listening ear, encouraging words, sensitivity, not insentitive "go to phrases" people use, to cover up the pain or ignore it completely. I refuse to have to say that I am doing ok, when in reality I really am not.